The words aren’t coming easily and I just feel so tired. So weighed down, so hopeless, helpless, and lost. What do you do when you don’t know what to do? I’ve lived the past several months with my mantra being “stay positive, look on the bright side, you can do it.” But now, after all this time, it just seems to have an emptiness to it. Like being happy is for someone else but not for me. And god I hate how this sounds so depressing because I don’t want to think of myself as a victim but it’s so hard. Whine, whine, whine. I  know you have to work for things, to keep pushing forward, to try your best, to keep on keepin’ on, but when does the payoff come? I go through my days with my head held high, I smile, I talk with others, I’m always kind and helpful. But every day at about this time, when the sun has set and  I’m getting ready to crawl into bed, a weight drops onto my shoulders and it’s just so heavy and I get so sad, so discouraged, and so disappointed with myself. I don’t know what to do and I just want someone to help me. Someone to hold my hand and tell me that everything will be okay, things will work out, and I am good enough. Someone that will help me get back on my feet, get back out into the world and do something meaningful. Someone to tell me that all this struggle will one day be worth it, all these hardships will get me somewhere. I just want someone to tell me these things because I’m just so tired of telling myself.